As I said from the very beginning, I really do love each and every one of you. It's weird how we are all living such different lives in different places, yet we think so much alike. I wish i started out our relationship with the truth, but I never intended to come on a second night or the numerous nights that followed. Scracthing your heads in puzzlement is expected after that sentence, it's ok, and honestly you should all hate me for it but that's just my nerves talking. My closest friends on chat already know, and I'm thankful they have kept it a secret til now. I remember the guilt I felt and the relief I felt after telling them. After the pulling out of hair, and the vomiting, it actually all ended up just fine. As I hope everything in my life will. So, I lied about my appearance. There. Stone me to death if you wish, but now I am free of the remaining guilt for lying to the rest of you. Know this though, anything and everything I have ever said to any of you was all the truth, sadly. I wish I could have lied about my crappy existence as well but I guess some of us aren't made for lying.
Now, I'm taking the cowards way out. I know I had promised to come on for one final "chat" with you all but it didn't seem right. To me, nothing is final, especially any of you. I meant it when I said from the beginning that I loved you all. You've been more friend that I have ever had in anyone in my 24 years of living. You've helped me through the toughest crisis of my life even without physical contact. I can't thank you all enough for that and I only hope I can one day return the favor for you. If you hate me, that's fine too. I understand. Hope to talk to you all once again sometime soon. Take care and stay hungry.....hungry for love, because one day it WILL be feeding time :D
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Chat was never supposed to become anything but exactly what it promises-an escape from our individual ideas of reality. We all came here expecting the same thing and i suspect we will all leave here with the same realisation- that it was more than we had bargained for. There are no lies in chat, there are no truths in chat. There are only realisations. The existence of an array of well-educated, like-minded people has become a rarity that we defied. The things we yearned for became a realisation, in the knowledge that others yearned for the same things. Whatever roads you may take from here onward, you took the road that is rarely taken. You are incredible. This is not goodbye, this is the beginning of an adventure =D
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